Guess Who

October 2, 2014

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I still struggle to get my head around the concept of ‘the internet’. An endless amount of space, that doesn’t occupy space, but actually does, and one can upload things and download things and stream things and and and…this bundle of messy and confusing words is what my understanding of the internet looks like in my head. Ok, I’m not completely internet illiterate as you are most probably thinking I am, but the possibilities of the internet still baffle me.

Unlike the up and coming generation who are still in school and are brought up knowing the internet backwards, in and out, and every other direction that you can think of, us older kids needed a bit of practice first before it started to become second nature to turn to the internet for answers. If we were lost, we looked at the map. If we needed a tutorial on fixing a car or operating a gadget, we read the manual. If we were bored, we went outside and drowned our barbie’s in the pool or reinacted scenes from the Titanic whilst floating on a pool noodle, you know that bit when Jack sinks to the bottom of the icy ocean in hand cuffs and Rose says, ‘I’ll never let go Jack’. No? Just me then. My point is that quite rapidly, life has changed and the need to adapt to a faster-paced life and keep up with new technology is crucial to fit in with the rat race.

More than ever we, myself most definitely included, turn immediately to our smart phones which are constantly fixed in our hands or back pockets, for almost every answer that we require. With one swipe of a finger, we can access Google Maps for directions, we can YouTube tutorials on aspects that we are unsure of and why the hell not? That’s what they are they for after all. As long as a balance is found between acquiring square eyes and connecting with nature and the outdoors, then go wild!

My problem is this. The anonymity that the internet provides. It hides us, shelters us, protects us from dealing with problems in the flesh, creates false identities, misconceptions of who others are and misconceptions of who we are until we start to mould our identity according to what is socially acceptable. The bottom line is that it can severely warp our sense of reality, especially in teenagers who are still largely ignorant, as everyone once was, to the world. In the same breath I have witnessed first-hand the good that the internet creates through the publicising worthy projects and causes, such as issues rather close to home including rhino poaching, rape, violence, and poverty. It provides individuals with a platform to express their concerns, personal views, problems and of course to share positivity. It opens our eyes to the world, stirs our creative juices and provides us with ammunition to aim higher and dream bigger.

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I need you to know that I recognise this good, this positivity and generosity and I am aware that the majority of internet users are not there to create trouble or unhappiness. The option however of being able to remain completely anonymous and having free reign to negatively comment without any repercussions or moral consequence has created a robot generation. Anonymity strips us of our moral responsibility to fellow human beings, it desensitises us to issues, comments and images that quite frankly, should stir up pretty emotional responses.

I’m not a commenter. I prefer to look, read or watch and reserve judgement. If something truly blows me away or angers me intensely I’ll comment, but lately I find myself having to hold back more than ever, breathe deeply, and handcuff my hands to the table in order to avoid typing responses that should not be said out loud in response to reading completely inappropriate and quite frankly, comments that make me think, ‘How much more stupid can society actually become?’. Realising that my response would further contribute to the very problem that I am addressing, I have now resorted to a more peaceful approach which involves blocking and reporting on social media platform. I have to tell you, it is a rather satisfying feeling to press the ‘Yes’ button when asked ‘Are you sure you want to block @InternetTroll?’ As many of you are aware, my life has become more accessible to the public this past year through Ben’s vlogs and although I do not have a problem with this, it scares me to realise how many ignorant and naïve people are walking amongst us.IMG_6209.PNG

This all started with reading a few unpleasant comments on Ben’s vlogs, about myself, Ben or just general retorts. Unsure of how to process these comments, I made a little promise to myself that I would refrain from reading any comments in the future. Recently I was furiously scrolling through Instagram like a kid deprived of sugar for too long, and came across a picture posted by a well-known female surfer, Ellie-Jean Coffey. After that satisfying feeling of double tapping the picture as quick as I could, oh please, don’t act like you don’t do that, I scrolled down to read some of the comments. This is what I saw, ‘You look so fat.’ ‘Is it just me or does she look really fat?’ ‘This is disgusting.’ ‘What the f**k is this?’ Completely baffled by this completely unnecessary response of internet trolls who were most probably sitting behind their laptops or phones wishing that they could have a body half as nice as hers, I got really upset. I don’t often get upset. I was upset that I had to call these people human beings, that they were part of the same species as me and many of you nice humans reading this. I simply could not understand the concept of commenting on someone’s picture, whom you have never met, with something that is central to the contribution to many female eating disorders. If you don’t like a picture based purely on a person’s looks, unfollow, or rather SHUT THE HELL UP and worry about your own life. The image has been removed.

I have transformed myself into a ‘put people into their place’ activist. I simply feel that by pretending that negative comments by other people online is not going to help the world. A bystander never got anywhere in life. Instead I reply. Just to let people know that you are there. Recently I read a comment on an Instagram picture that read ‘Does anyone else find that she has a rather bland personality?’’ I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware that we have met before? Or maybe you simply picked that up by looking at my picture of a waterfall? Trying hard to keep a cool head, I proceeded to comment with a short and succinct reply simply stating that I did indeed read the comment, it was pretty inappropriate and no hard feelings were taken but the comment stung. I received a reply very quickly stating that the person was extremely sorry, and didn’t think that I would see it. Trust me, I see everything 😉 I have eagle-eyes, actually talking of I’ve had to start wearing glasses during lectures. My ego has basically been blown because I can no longer claim that I have 50/50 vision.

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One’s decision to write something nasty should not be based on whether or not the content creator is going to read it or not. If you wouldn’t dream of saying this to them in person, DO NOT be a coward and hide behind your keyboard. The greatest sadness lies in that there are people who simply subscribe or follow an individual in an attempt to ensure that their negativity is generated further. What a sad life that is!

Let me know if you have had any bad commenting experiences on your content online, or any really good ones for that matter. How did you deal with it?

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  • Hey Nicole.
    Funny thing, I just watched Ben’s vlog from about a year ago and it lead me to this blogpost. First off let me start by saying that I really enjoy your blogposts and find it very enjoyable and relatable to read. This blogpost was no different. Even though it’s from over a year ago, it’s of course still extremely relevant.

    I understand your position all too well. I’m a content creator on Youtube myself and I worry too about the, in my case, possible negative comments on my videos / Instagram / Twitter. I’m ‘lucky’ enough to be so small on all those platforms that I’ve been spared so far, but without a doubt the first bad comments will come sooner or later. I’m totally unsure myself how I should go about handling that, because I’m not sure what good it’ll do to “feed the trolls” or reply to those miserable “human” beings. It’s this exact doubt or even fear of those kinds of people that have even prevented me from sharing my videos with other people on Facebook. I just don’t know how I’d handle mean or rude comments on something that I spent hours and hours on creating, even more so with people that I know well or acquintances. But those anonymous people in particular are one of those things that really annoys me on a daily basis. The internet almost operates like a safehaven for people that like to spread negativity in an anonymous way. I don’t understand why those people would comment something that they’d never say to you in person. Especially when they comment in a mean or rude way on creative products like videos, photographs, blogsposts, etc. where a lot of thought has gone into.

    It’s a shame, but I fear that it’s very difficult to change these kinds of things. But I might go about it the same way as you do, by adressing it, just to give my concience a bit of peace knowing that I retaliated in a way to their terrible online behaviour.

    The only good thing I can think of is this: haters are losers, deep down they are extremely unhappy and they will fail in their life being the bad people they are.

    Hope you get to read this. I’m curious as to what you think about my comment.

    All the best
    Sven

    P.S. When’s your next blogpost coming out if you know that yet? 🙂

    • Nicole Eddy

      Hey Sven,
      Wow, I just reread this post, I forgot what I had written haha! I guess it depends on the extent of the comment that determines how it should be dealt. If it sounds like someone is searching for attention and unwanted trouble, it’s probably best to ignore them & block, as attention is most likely what they are craving. But some ignorant comments do deserve a well-written reply, a reply that is written how you would like to be treated as it becomes all too easy to want to internet punch somebody!

      It sounds like you’ve got your ducks in a row & I have no doubt that you will react and respond appropriately when the situation arises. Best of luck with the channel 🙂 And hopefully there will be another post by the end of this coming weekend, I just have a lot of final assignments to deal with at the moment! Thanks for commenting 🙂 x

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  • Nicole Eddy

    Thanks Gita 🙂 x

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  • Franziska

    I’m growing up in the ‘internet generation’ and it’s really sad how people can hurt someone else by saying nasty things. No one wants to be the person to hear mean things said about or to himself and I think we have to ask ourselves whether we would want someone else to tell us those things. And I’m certain the answer would be ‘no’, so I’m really frustarted about that. I really enjoyed this post and I hope more people will read this and get aware of the fact. By the way I think you’re an inspiring and lovely person so keep going 🙂 Greetings from Germany x

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thank you Franziska 🙂 And thanks for reading & commenting! Very true what you say.

  • Madeline

    You are so right! I watch Ben’s vlogs and think you have anything but a ‘bland’ personality! I love your blog! If I’m being entirely honest I hadn’t seen it until today, but I love your writing style! You already have me hooked, and I will definitely be one of your regular readers! xo

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Madeline 🙂 Welcome to the family, i’m so happy that you enjoy my writing 🙂 Have an awesome weekend x

  • Juliana Phelippe

    Can’t belive it took so long for me to read this text, it’s awesome, especially the part that you describe yourself as a “put people into their place” activist, I can totally relate. Once in my old school a guy out of nowhere created a blog to diss my friends, me and random students for no reason, I couldn’t belive my eyes when I saw my picture in his so called online diary. Gladly we were able to find out the dude and all the braveness he had online turned into a little (of spirit) coward teenager that couldn’t handle the pressure when his identity was discovered. Don’t listen to them, it happens to everyone, you’re awesome, love your pics and texts 🙂

    • Nicole Eddy

      Ah, thank you Juliana. Yeah, lots of people always question why I even bother to reply and not just leave it, but I don’t really see what good that ever did the world, even if you can just bring one person back down to reality! Haha, that sounds like Mean Girls, you guys should have capitalized and made a movie about it…’Mean Boys’, glad that he got caught out though, what a chop!

      Have an awesome Christmas/holiday! x

      • Juliana Phelippe

        That’s a good point of view to face this problem 🙂 have nice holidays as well!

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  • asa

    Hi Nicole,

    I’m really sorry there are internet trolls out there harassing you and other people who write about their lives on internet. I never understood why people are so vicious. Regarding the comments on the female surfer, and other people in general: So what if the onlooker thinks the person is fat? In this society we’re obsessed with being skinny. Sometimes being a bit overweight is actually healthier than being too skinny. In any case, so what if a person is actually fat?! People should still not comment on this. People can be fat, skinny, ugly, beautiful or plain normal looking. I still don’t see why there has to be a comment on people’s looks all the time. Especially women are often judged for their looks rather than what they do, accomplish and stand for. My motto is: If you’ve nothing good to say to someone else then say nothing. Especially when unprovoked. People who troll on the internet are just pathetic cowards who hide behind anonymity, and who clearly have nothing better to do than to read other people’s blogs and watch other people’s YouTube videos instead of doing something themselves.

    Keep up the good work and all the best on your road trip. Yeah, I subscribe to the videos Ben posts, and your trip looks amazing!

    All the best,
    Asa

    • Nicole Eddy

      Hey Asa, yeah women & social media is an entirely different topic. In fact, I actually did a psychology research project on it, very interesting! I like your motto and agree, if only more people were on the same wavelength as you! Have an awesome Christmas (if you celebrate it) otherwise an awesome holiday!

  • Marion

    Thank you Nicole for putting words on this problem. I really enjoy watching vlogs, videos, reading blog posts (yours are quality ones, by the way :D), etc. but I’m not a commenter, for the same reason as you: I don’t get how it is possible to comment something if you’re not willing to say it in person. And it blows my mind to see how easy it can be for other people, most of the time younger than me (I’m 21). And I’ve actually had to think before posting this comment, it might happen to me like once in a blue moon. Seeing some youtubers struggling with making their viewers understand that it can hurt, I now wonder why they don’t do the same as you: answering, saying Hey I can see you.
    Anyway, I find it worthy commenting on your blog post: you’re not the only one to think that way, and you’re not alone when you read a bad comment, think about all the people who think like you and are not commenting exactly because they think like you 🙂 By the way, since the very first time I saw you in one of Ben’s vlogs, I’ve thought that you were absolutely beautiful and nice, and I do enjoy seeing you in his videos!
    As a French, I hope I’ve made myself understandable, and I wish you the best for the future. And I hope I’ll be able to visit South Africa one day, it looks stunning and vibrant. And I think that’s it 🙂
    From France with love!

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Marion 🙂 Thanks for the support as well, it’s restores a little bit of faith in the human population online when I read comments like yours. P.S. You’re perfectly understandable. Happy Holidays! x

  • Micaela Garcia

    I completely agree with what you wrote. Im from Uruguay and the elections for voting another president are going on right now and the amounts of hate and things that are really messed up that people comment is actually horrible. I am surprised that people can actually tolerate it and I admire you and your boyfriend and other tons of youtubers for being able to continue vlogging everyday with smiles on your faces after receiving some really nasty comments from people. This is the first time I read your blog and I just want to say that I really loved it and I find it really cool how you can put your thoughts into words in that way, making it so easy to relate. I’ll start to read your blogs more often because they’re great! (P.S. hope you understand my crappy english and sorry for any spelling errors).

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Micaela 🙂 Yeah, politics is a whole nother ball game, the stuff that goes on there is actually ridiculous! Thank you for reading my blog, I appreciate your awesome comment & kind words! (P.S. Your English isn’t crappy at all & as far as I could see, no spelling errors 🙂 x

  • Kristyna

    I love reading your posts and I like your pictures and everything. You’re so nice and kind and I wish everyone be just like you. Stay yourself, you’re perfect just like you are.
    Lost of love from Czech republic.

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thank you 🙂 P.S I love your country! x

  • Lars Wagoner

    Being a teenager, I know exactly what you are talking about when it comes to internet trolls. Everytime I think about someone sitting behind a screen, and insulting another person that they probably haven’t even met saddens me. A lot of people (especially at my age) become extremely self-conscious and insecure about their physical appearance to the point of self harm, and those that cause those very negative feelings don’t even notice the impact of their actions. Thank you for addressing this very important and controversial topic. 🙂

    • Nicole Eddy

      Exactly! Thanks for your input Lars, it’s a sad game really. Have an awesome weekend!

  • Ann

    This is a great post Nicole! Really relevant to today, to our generations, and to all the people who I know and follow who have prominent online lives. I like all the points you bring up here and agree with you completely. One thing that I always think about when I see negativity on the internet is the time and effort that people must put into being negative online. It takes time to hunt down something negative, to post about it, and to keep picking at it, it just makes me wonder about all the better things that that annonymous person could be doing with their time. Their life could be better, more productive.

    This thought process also leads me to question my own time spent online. Even though I’m doing positive things online like connecting with friends, watching vlogs, or reading posts by my favorite bloggers, I begin to wonder, what if I wasn’t online. What if I took all that time I spend online watching other people lives, and spent it on myself. What if I spent it on my work and my art and making personal progress. Would I be closer to my goals than I am today?

    I guess this brings up a totally different tangent than your post was addressing, but that’s just what it made me think about. Any thoughts?

    • Nicole Eddy

      Yoh! Such an interesting question & comment. To be fair, most of the negative comments are pretty poorly thought out, and it seems that many humans with a normal working brain would not invest their time (& humanity) into thinking about how to insult someone online! I just don’t understand what drives a person to down another so badly whilst sitting hunched over behind their keyboard. The second point you raise is very true…however, for me there are 2 crucial things to monitor my time online. The first, is I think trying to find the balance between being online & knowing when to put technology down, e.g. family days, being outdoors etc. & also to always put it second to my studies & work, that’s including my blog and any other online presence. But the amount of hours that I could have put into other constructive things instead of trawling the internet is A LOT. In saying this, the internet can be used as a great tool for inspiration.

      Thanks for bringing this up! Interesting debate. x

  • Christina Wagner

    I recently started a YouTube channel and my boyfriend jokes with me that I won’t be able to handle the hate, if and when I get some. He’s probably right. My feelings get hurt when I see negative comments that are left for other people, I don’t want to imagine the hurt of when those things are said about me.

    I recently found Ben’s channel (as in, I just came across it this morning) and I’ve been binge watching his Visual Vibes work. I think you’re quite adorable and I think he’s fantastically talented. I’m sorry you’ve had to read terrible things about yourself and anyone else. I think you’re splendid.

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Christina 🙂 I really appreciate that! I guess it makes you stronger & the stuff I get is minimal compared to what other people have to deal with! Just keep doing what you’re doing 🙂 You’re bigger than all of them! x

  • Jelena

    I get really upset about comments aswell although they never concern me. But just the assumptions people make and the kind of statements they leave makes me really angry at times. Also, the ignorance of some people and the narrow-minded opinions that they are fixed on is so frustrating. It’s okay to disagree and it’s okay to criticize but you can do that without offending if you really have to. In the end I agree with you: If you wouldn’t say it to their face – don’t. Don’t say it, not even on the internet. And this also made me think of: If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all. So true. Great post, Nicole! 🙂 And just to add something … I think you come across as a very lovely person 😉

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thank you Jelena 🙂 Wow, the ignorance gets to me too! Can’t believe some of the downright stupid things people write haha. Oh well, that is the internet I guess, along with other extremely positive comments as well. Thank you reading and commenting! x

  • Joshua Hewitt

    Hey Nicole! This blog post is fantastic! I suffered from terrible death threats on the Internet, especially Facebook because I suffer from autism and Tourette’s syndrome! But Internet trolls are the worst and I only add close friends and family who I trust will treat me like a human being, ( as I suffered depression from bullies.) I was in South africa 7 or so years ago, visiting Cape Town and Gordon’s Bay. Hope everything is good with you and your family and I’m sure you are excited for seeing Ben again soon! Take care and keep up the great work! Joshua 🙂

    • Nicole Eddy

      Hey Joshua, sorry to hear about your bad experience online! I cant believe people gave you death threats, a little excessive, wow! Don’t give them the time of day, they don’t deserve it. Gordon’s Bay is lovely, hope you enjoyed SA. Thanks for reading

  • Gillian

    I still don’t know why some people are so mean and rude to other people. The internet wasn’t supposed to be a place where you can hurt each other or make people feel insecure about themselves. Personally I love the internet a lot, otherwise I would’t comment on your post. I love seeing people from all around the world having fun, and enjoying their lives. It’s beautiful, my parents didn’t have something like youtube or social media. You and a lot of other beautuful people from all over this planet inspire me a lot. They show me a whole other side of life. A side that I want to see when I’m your age. Thanks for that, just keep up doing what you’re doing lots of hugs from the Netherlands ❤️

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Gillian, I’m glad that I can help to inspire you, never though that people would ever say that to me, haha. And yes, it is important to remember the good that the internet provides too 🙂 Thanks for reading and commenting! I’ll keep doing what I’m doing 🙂 Hugs from SA

  • Lois

    hi, nicole.
    i know you from Ben’s vlog because i never exposed to blog or bloggers.
    This might not important to you but i really do enjoyed your words a lot.
    more and more i wish you can appear in Ben’s vlog or someday you can have your vlog too (maybe, that will be a very good news to me :))
    lastly, emmm all the best and keep doing what you think is good.
    I’ll always support you and love you. 🙂

    • Nicole Eddy

      Ah thanks Lois! That’s extremely kind of you, appreciate it. Of course it’s important to me, every comment is 🙂 Have a great weekend! x

  • Darren McAteer

    I always love reading your posts Nicole 🙂 I’ve been told that when someone points a finger at your they’re pointing three others at themselves so keep doing what your doing!
    Lots of support from Donegal in Ireland

    • Nicole Eddy

      So true Darren! Thanks for reading 🙂 P.S I loved Ireland, did a Paddywagon around the whole place (Tried a lot of your local brew, so some parts are a little hazy, haha.

  • Poline Basile

    Good post Nicole ! I’m belgian and I’m jealous of your life in Cape, really ! “out” of the pollution,… the ocean all day , the surf, the nature, .. BIG HUG !!!!

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Poline 🙂 x

      • Poline Basile

        Ho my wod you answered me 😀 !!!! How did work your exams ?

  • Alysia Webster

    Brilliant blog post, I loved reading it and agree with what you said completely! You handled the comments wonderfully.

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thank you Alysia, appreciate the feedback! Have an awesome weekend!

  • Carrie Lee

    Nicole you are a lovely individual and I think people never realize that what they see in a 5 min video isnt all of your life. I think Ben and you have a darling relationship and I could only wish the best. Although there are a lot of crap people in the world, there are those that make it better. I hope this comment has helped with lifting any sour moods/

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Carrie, 5 minutes is a microsecond in one’s daily life! Tempted to start my own channel sometime to let people see my side of life, I just need more confident with the camera 🙂 Thanks for being one of those people who make it better 🙂

  • Leana

    I love this blog post. It explains my exact feelings about the internet and why it can be very bad yet very good. It really really bugs me how people who post rude and unnecessary comments and insults are not reprimanded nor given consequences which makes them think it’s totally okay. Well written!

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Leana! Most definitely, that’s why sometimes a little subtle reprimanding sometimes can go a long way 🙂

  • Hello

    Although I agree with what you a saying, I think the screenshots were just stooping to the haters level, at least blur out their name in respect of their privacy – im pretty sure they do have the right to sue you – I hope you dont get into any legal trouble 😀

    • Nicole Eddy

      I understand what you are saying regarding blocking their name out, and I did give it thought when putting up the screenshots, however…I do disagree with you. Majority of these individuals comment with hate comments most of the time, with little or no consequences to their actions, so if having your anonymous username (which you can change at any time) on a small blog post prevents this negativity within the future, it’s worth a try. Besides, it’s a VERY small price to pay for the damage that hate comments can cause to a person’s life! As i said in the article, by blocking out the username, it further perpetuates the action of hiding behind one’s keyboard. Thanks for reading 🙂

  • James Hewitt

    I just fell in love with your blog Nicole! This is fantastic!
    Unfortunatly I would fit under the “@InternetTroll” category. However after reading this ive rethought how I will interact using social media and I’ll refrain from negative interaction. Thank you! 🙂
    – James Hewitt

    • Nicole Eddy

      Awesome, thanks James 🙂
      Wow, I honestly would never have thought that anyone would have owned up to being an ‘internet troll’, especially on this blog post. You have my full attention, haha, I’m interested to know what you do that you classify yourself as an ‘internet troll’ and also the reasons as to why you do it? Thanks for commenting 🙂

  • Nathan

    Nicole, it’s rare how people in this generation see things from your perspective as you do. It’s even more rare when people like this speaks up, using their internet voice to share their opinions, reminding readers where we human beings came from. Your posts inspire me, I’m sure it inspires many others too.

    And I hope, you inspiring your readers, inspire you to continue keeping up with your efforts to keep this blog running.

    Cheers to Ben for publicity, kudos to you for quality. I love you both 🙂

    much love,
    Nathan @weezwx

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Nathan, appreciate your kind words! I will most certainly try and expose issues like this and find time to write more posts more often! Thank you for reading x

  • smoose1977

    I was really shocked at some of the comments people were making. Seriously dudes, its done right rude. Would you go up to someone that you don’t know and say these things.
    Love your blog. Love to you and Ben x

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thank you 🙂 Yeah, the crazy thing is that these comments are mild compared to what is posted online, I got off lightly 🙂 x

  • This is really awesome I’ve been following Ben for a while now and thought i’d take a look into this ‘blog’ that frequently is discussed and seriously it is inspiring/ and outright moving. You guys are a great inspiration, I’m 17 so a few step behind you guys but its, I suppose guiding the way I walk this world to see the things that you guys do,
    Awesome!!!

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Alex, I honestly love hearing feedback like this. Lots of teenagers can help to change the world, I was just too absorbed in my own to think about it, wish that thought more broadly though! Have a great weekend x

  • Brittany Brown

    I am subscribed to a lot of YouTube personalities and I used to be niave to all of the comments as well. I was someone who just watched the videos for pure enjoyment and had no reason to think anything negative about the videos. If there was a video I didn’t feel was as good as the general ones I was used to viewing I took it as a grain of salt and moved on. I never found it necessary to be mean to these everyday people who are willingly sharing their everyday life with me. Who am I to judge them or judge a video or picture or anything they post on the internet. I recently have decided to scroll through comments and have each time ended up being so disappointed in humanity and physically upset by these comments that were not even directed at me. Many times I typed up in depth responses to these posts but never ended up posting them. After your post I have been slightly inspired to say my two cents and not be afraid to jump in as an advocate for plainly being humane and not a jerk. Internet trolls hit such a nerve because you are so right, it is SO cowardly and even beyond that just SO rude. The internet is something I like to view as a family for when I don’t feel like I want to be social with the real world and I picture it as this big happy place and then there are the few trolls that ruin it all for everyone. Such a shame, but I should stand up for the millions of people who are nice and give this generation hope.

    • Nicole Eddy

      I completely agree Brittany, I’ve never had the urge to comment negative things online due to content that I thought was crap, unless of course it was completely outrageous. Sometimes the best is to avoid the comments like I do, ignorance is bliss sometimes 🙂 Kudos for you for standing up to what you believe in, not many have the guts to do that. x

  • Stephanie Collins

    I completely agree! I always see comments on YouTube or Instagram and think to myself “why did you think it was necessary to post this?” It makes me lose a bit faith in humanity too. The best thing I have found though is when fans stand up for the person targeted. Faith in humanity restored! Awesome post =]

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Steph 🙂 x

  • Heather Griffith

    I’m glad you addressed this issue so honestly. I’ve noticed over the last month or so that many Youtubers are beginning to turn comments off or avoid reading them because there have been more negative comments than positive comments. It’s sad that people have began to have a false sense of strength through their computers. I hope people begin to notice that when they project their insecurities through horrible comments, that they’re hurting more than just their victim. And that when its left alone and ignored, then it will just continue to be seen as something that has no consequences. I hope that you are one, of many, that can help change that.

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Heather, I will most certainly try my best, It’s sad that many of the positive commenting people have to suffer due to some jerks online! Have a great weekend! x

  • Jessica Wallace

    Right on Nicole! If you don’t have anything nice to say to someone, you shouldn’t say anything at all.

  • Hi Nicole,

    thank you for this perfect blogpost of how the internet changed in the past couple of years. I am a write myself and when a new book is published I get many nice reviews by lovely readers. And then, there are some trolls not judging my book (which I am used to be now) but me as a writer. The call me all sort of names like dumb, boring, idiotic and stupid. They forget that behind every username, writer, blogger oder vlogger there is actually a human being. And that, in real life, we would never be friends, but also I doubt it that they would say any of the things to our face given the chance.
    Thank you for writing this post.

    And just for the record: you come across like a very nice and intelligent person in Bens vlogs. And like a very inspirational human being on your own blog.

    Greetings from Germany,
    Adriana

    • Nicole Eddy

      Hey Adriana, thank you! Awesome that you write books and stuff, that deserves credit. Sorry that you have experienced these insensitive comments too, but hey, it can only make you stronger 🙂 Appreciate your kind words. x

  • DJ

    Some great thoughts Nicole. Btw, every had been to Friends Cafe in Claremont? Friends owned the place, now closed down….

    • Nicole Eddy

      I haven’t, guess I can’t go now anyway hey? haha

  • WhatJoeDid

    Great post, straight to the point and well thought out. I think the internet brings out the best and worst in people, yet the worst seems to be lingered on the most. The negative space attracts people – its seen everywhere in the media, rarely is a happy story front page.
    I would just like to thank you for writing this, I started my first blog yesterday and if it ever goes anywhere im sure I will come back to this post if there is any negativity and reread.
    Joe

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Joe, hope your blog post went well! Yeah man, just click the block button…although everyone’s commentshave been amazing on my blogs so far as I’m sure yours will be too. x

  • Emily

    I completely agree, and I think that anonymity online is beginning to warp society in some ways – it seems we’re losing our humanity more than ever before. It’s as if the more some people ‘connect’ online – the more and more they’re becoming disconnected with reality – to be able to unleash such unjust unkindness without even a second thought towards the recipient.

    Some comments I’ve seen on videos/posts etc recently have also genuinely upset me too, and I’m glad that bloggers such as yourself are speaking up on the subject!

    Thank you!

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Emily, yeah the comments on some people’s content is crazy, didn’t even know such crazy people are allowed to walk the streets, haha.

  • Sean K

    I don’t normally comment on many things unless they are helpful that includes praise and criticism, It genuinely scares me when people are taught to grow up being able to effectively be online terrorists and then when they have had enough, simply click away, no repercussions. Either way, great post, I’ve been following your stuff for a while, keep it up 🙂

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Sean, I comment in the same situations as you mentioned too. Pity that everyone couldn’t do that to!

      • Sean K

        Agreed, but I guess thats the type of world we live in, we just need to push past it and keep doing what we love 🙂

  • Olivia Denman

    Finally someone addresses the issue! I believe that if you can’t say it to someone’s face, you shouldn’t hide behind a screen and post it online. People have a false sense of confidence thanks to the internet and its anonymity. In a way the internet has allowed for the dehumanization of our fellow users making it easier to abuse without thinking of our actions. It’s sad that amazing female athletes are bombarded with disgusting comments via social media, when they should be admired for their incredible athletic performance like their male counterparts. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all 🙂 Really glad you’ve written about this problem!!

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Olivia 🙂 I just can’t believe that it hasn’t been addressed more often and more publicly particularly as the’hate’ comments I get are nothing compared to some things written about other people online. Most definitely agree that it has contributed to the dehumanisation of the users (that’s a good line, should have used that in my post 😉 Thanks for sharing! x

  • James Simpson-Kent

    I think the problem is that people are used to seeing these mean comments and think it is absolutely normal for them themselves to let out those comments. And i think it just boils down to the commenters that are trying to fit in socially…

  • javibarrameda

    F**k the people , enjoy and life , they are bored , your life is amazing , i want travel like you 🙁
    Sorry ,my english is very bad , i am spanish
    Follow me in instagram (javibarrameda)

    • Nicole Eddy

      Haha, I like this 🙂 Thanks for reading 🙂 x

  • Paris Walsh

    This was bloody brilliant Nicole, well written and thought out. Thank you for addressing this issue. Much love girl x

    • Nicole Eddy

      Appreciation all round! x

  • Sha

    <3

  • Malou Palmboom

    I agree Nicole, love that you wrote this. I think its very hard for people who have quite some attention on the internet to think clear about the hate comments. People always say you need to focus on the nice comments but I think its hard if you also read the comments from the internet trolls. It can really get you down. I believe that you have a clear mind and dont just lett them get you. Really nice to read this blogpost about it. And yes I am also gonna tell you that there are so much people who really like you, so pleace dont give to much atantion to the hate comments. I think you are an amazing beautiful person, in and outside. You always make me smile in Bens vlogs and I love to hear a bit more from you trough your blog! 🙂 I think this is what I wanted to say, its a bit hard for me to express my feelings in English beceause I am from Holland but I hope you understood it. Love from Malou

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Malou 🙂 I appreciate your kind words. The things said about me were very mild compared to some of the stuff that is said online, so I still got off lightly. Thanks for reading, have an awesome week!! x

      • Malou Palmboom

        Yes I know, I just can not understand why people think like that! Keep on writing, your amazing 🙂 Have an awesome week too!

  • Abi

    Nicole, just wanted to let you know I’ve been very inspired by you. I enjoy just seeing how you do life! I love that you love nature, fitness, health, hard work, etc. You motivate me to achieve more 🙂 It’s amazing to me that anyone could find a negative thing to say about you.

    When it comes to negative comments, I would usually delete them and/or block the user writing them. I feel like responding (even if its a well thought out and mature response) can just adds fuel to the fire. Although on occasion, certain things do need to be said.

    Some of the nicest people can be very rude on the internet, it’s such a shame. Please don’t take any of the negativity to heart!

    Have a lovely day 🙂

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thank you Abi! Yeah, i do delete most of the ones that I get, however if it looks like that person might have a moral conscience then its worth the try 🙂 But yes, often it does add fuel to the fire. Thanks for reading 🙂 x

  • Really enjoyed reading this post because I feel the same way! I never feel like I need to write this type of negativity on the internet, and never feel the need to bash somebody on the internet because I feel like nobody will ever say anything about it, so I truly do not understand why some people just feel the need to go around people social media and write negative things about them.. It might be what they think which is okay but it is just so rude and sad to openly say so because obviously it will sadden the person to read this about themselves.. I try not to read comments on people’s youtube videos because I always find myself getting angry with the hate that is shared there.. Loved that you wrote about this subject as not so many would! xx

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Alexandra 🙂 x

  • Leena

    If reading bad comments stings then reading good ones must make you feel better. So even though I don’t know you, you’re like MY IDOL and I’m not just saying this I mean it. You are a very powerful women (from what I’ve seen here on your website) many people think I can’t do many of the exciting thrilling activities like mountain climbing and such because I’m a GIRL. Even though it’s the 21st century people still think women have to be well, feminine. You are the best example of feminine in my eyes, you’re beautiful, you’re strong and FULL of personality. Again this is just from your posts on this site so I can’t imagine how it feels to be around you irl. Ben is so lucky.

    • Nicole Eddy

      Wow, thanks Leena! That made my day to hear, thank you 🙂 And oh please…girls are way better than guys 😉 haha, maybe not at lifting weights though. I can’t stop rereading your comment, it makes being online so worth it to read comments like this. Have an awesome weekend! x

  • trevor smith

    You two are the coolest. Mad respect for this Nicole. (I knew you were deep) Just started following Ben and some others from the group. First time checking out your blog, 4 a.m. over here in California so I’m delusional enough to be wasting a couple minutes of my life writing this. This must be my first blog post reply ever. Anyway I totally agree with the “sense of reality” problem. That’s why for months I’ve been working on a new productivity/ social media platform concept. It’ll be called Reality Check and it’s based around Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, reaching Self-Actualization, and helping others reach it around the world. So don’t trip, I gotchu.

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Trevor, glad that I could be the first person to receive a comment from you 🙂 Sounds like an awesome concept, would love to check it out once its complete!

      • Trevor Smith

        Thanks I’ll definitely let you know in the future. Don’t get too famous to notice

        • Trevor Smith

          You know… speaking of getting too famous… I’m trying to reach Ben’s friend Nick Miller to ask if he’d be interested in working on the app with me when he moves to California. I heard he’s all about “trying to helping people make their ideas happen” and this concept is too. If you have 2 minutes to show this to Ben and ask him to mention it to Nick that would be awesome.

  • Chrissie Huang

    The society now a days really do need to read this post…they don’t realize how a statement can impact on a person’s life

  • Knowing the Internet and knowing how people show their most disgusting side on it, I am not even a little bit surprised people have been this nasty and hateful towards you, Nicole. Isn’t that sad… not even a tiny bit of surprise. Sorry this ugly side of the Internet has caught up with you. However, I am sure that being in a relationship with Ben and also having met some of the other YouTubers, you also know that the Internet can be such a great place. Even here on your blog, people write the nicest things! Focus on the positive sides (which doesn’t mean, ignore the trolls, by all means, never stop calling them out!).

    Also, remember that what person X says about person Y says more about person X than about person Y! 😉

    Here’s to less hate and more positivity!

    • Nicole Eddy

      Most definitely Elisa, more positive than negative online! And of course, those are unfortunately the consequences that comes with the decision to publish work or a part of your life online! To more positivity *raises wine glass* *cries because it’s empty*

  • Brianne Evans

    The anonymity creates a boost of confidence. Most people wouldn’t make as many repulsive comments to one’s face. This can also be said for positive reinforcement. I find it rare that a stranger will approach another and compliment someone on a glimpse.
    Not many of your readers or Ben’s viewers can say they honestly know either of you in person and should not be allowed to judge based on a ten minute reading/watching. The internet only provides a glimpse into the lives of another based on what they are willing to share. The same applies for an Instagram photo or any other social media post. Somehow it becomes easier to hide behind that internet wall, therefore less repercussions. Although it’s difficult to refrain from reading such negative posts, just as it’s weird to read the super nice ones. It’s probably difficult since you obviously chose to be with Ben and you have accepted the vlogs, but they’re hardly avoidable from any sort of public comments. Just try to stay positive and believe in being who you truly are. Despite the ignorant posts you may see, be who you are. You aren’t going to please everyone and not everyone is going to have the common sense to keep their opinion to themselves. You obviously seem to have been able to grasp this based on personal experience. Unfortunately, just as we should all respect you, we should also respect that some people are a lot more ignorant than others . It seems as though it is not the easiest thing to change… but you tell them, Nicole! Go back in time, and raise those silly nonesensicals with some respect! 😛

    • Nicole Eddy

      Haha I most definitely will Brianne, thanks for the vote of confidence!

  • Carmen

    Excellent post, Nicole as usual! I sometimes try to refrain myself from replying to those people, and I tend to be the usual subscriber who replies “we only see less than 10 minutes of their lives, we do not know these people”.

    I sometimes think that these trolls are people with bottled up anger, anger that they cannot express and because of this anger they become internet trolls. Probably, lonely people who don’t have anything better to do or no one to talk to. It doesn’t give them a right to mistreat people on the internet, but its their way of releasing that anger.

    I usually scroll a lot through the comments on Ben’s videos and people usually seem pretty nice. I guess those are just jealous subscribers! Because you guys make a very cute couple! 🙂

    • Nicole Eddy

      Your comments are the type that immediately receive an automatic thumbs up! You keep telling them 😉 x

  • @MrJimmyVT

    I think that “Internet trolls” post horrible things on pictures, videos and so on. Is because they desire to gain attention from the content producer and to get a reaction and/or be acknowledged by yourself and many others. Like children (Which the vast majority are) they crave attention in any way possible. Good or bad.

  • Ray Nosko

    I’m sorry that you’ve had to deal with negative comments from trolls. It is never easy to deal with hateful comments, whether online or in real life. Being an obese man most of my life, I’ve had people spit on me, throw trash at me, shout obscene things at me, laugh and point at me, and talk about me with no concern for the fact that I was standing less than two feet away and could hear every hateful word. The similarities between my experiences and your encounters with internet trolls, I’m sure, are clearly evident. Such experiences are painful. They hurt and try as we may to forget them, they do stay with us. We can only choose to focus on the good and let the bad fade into the background. Easier said than done I know, but we must make every effort. As you point out, there is great good that can come out of this interconnected world we find ourselves in, and in my experience if we focus on that good, it is more than enough to compensate for the bad. Focus on the good, and learn to put blinders on to the bad. Benjamin Franklin said something once that is germane, “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do.” Although the connectedness of the internet increases the frequency with which we must suffer fools, they are still only fools and we must treat them as one would treat any fool. Pity them, pray for them, help them if it is in our power to do so, and try to show them kindness – even if that kindness is to simply hold our tongue – but we must not allow them to rob us of our joy, light, and happiness. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Ray, of course, as I’ve said before, these are the consequences of deciding to publish online or share a part of my life with the world! Nothing good ever came easy 🙂 Yeah, I can’t imagine how awful that must be, especially as it was in real life. Hiding behind the cover of the internet still provides that extra padding for negative comments to be digested. Sorry to hear about your experiences. I enjoyed that quote, he was a wise man 🙂

  • Adam Hansen

    Hey Nicole, I find this article to be especially meaningful because of thoughts I have been having more and more recently about my generation and the way social media has effected it. I’m to the point were I’m trying to cut down dramatically on my social media usage as I’m finding it more of an addiction than a meaningful way of making connections or having experiences with friends. In fact some of my more fond memories have been on days well out of cell service or nights where my phone was one of my last priorities. More often than not I wake up and wish phones were just phones. It seems to really hurt peoples relationships around me, and even at times, my own relationship with the people I care most about. Moments become more about taking pictures for instagram or twitter and less about enjoying the moment. Even in high school kids loved to use social media to bully other kids in order to feel like they were cool or funny, I never understood it. I’m not saying that I don’t think that there are some positives about social media, recently I moved and it can be good to maintain relationships with some close friends, and as a 20 year old I’m not naive enough to think it won’t be a part of my life. And I do watch Ben’s Vlogs which I thoroughly enjoy. But if for any reason they were to stop is it weird I might be happy for you guys to have some privacy? I don’t even read the comments on most things these days as they usually detract from the content with all there negativity. But at the end of the day like you said you know who you are and the people watching usually don’t. That’s what matters. Also not sure why people take issue with your appearance because you’re beautiful. I rarely comment but this struck a cord with me so I apologize for the length. Thanks!

    • Nicole Eddy

      Couldn’t agree with you more Adam about my best experiences being out of service, usually because that’s where all the awesome places are 🙂 I really appreciate this comment, it seems to just ooze with all things genuine. Most definitely, it’s great for keeping up with friends or loved ones, particularly when distance plays a role however the glorious thing is that we can choose who we want to follow or not. Thanks for your kind words, it really is wonderful to hear! x

  • Dena

    I put my opinion out there on an Instagram photo once. It had a picture of a model with a caption about idolizing her body. Instantly I was outraged and wrote how unhealthy it is to compare oneself to a model. In response, commenters quickly lashed back stating I didn’t know what I was talking about. One commenter went so far to say I was lazy. I then privates my account to make sure these people did not have the opportunity to see my life. I chose to ignore the comments hoping to not argue any further or satisfy the rude commenters.

    • Dena

      P.s. People just don’t understand that a YouTube personnel are choosing to put their lives out there. Others may not choose to do so themselves. The assumption of viewers that everyone must share annoys me greatly! There is something great about privacy. I believe, if you choose to share or not, are a person with a strong personality. What is great about you that fascinates the viewers is that it is a mystery. Much love!

      • Nicole Eddy

        Thanks Dena, sad to hear that you had to privatize your account, that’s not ideal! I’ll never understand this whole ‘hater’ mentality, but its up to people like you to try change and that, which I’m sure that you will! Thank you for reading. x

  • Joel

    My instagram (@joelthorpe if you’re wondering) is great for me because it’s a place separate to the everyday school/work life, and I can express thoughts and ideas in my own space. I post mainly portrait photography, and when people at school first found out about it, I got a lot of stick. Since the hate was directed at me in person, I never really knew how to react, and I lost a lot of confidence in what I was doing for a long time. Whatever the reason for the hate I’d get, it would always be in person as opposed to on instagram comments which is surprising I think. It still occurs every now and then, but I’ve got a few great friends who support me and help me with what I do. I’ve learnt to deal with hate and people putting me down, but I think the hardest part is learning to ignore hateful or nasty comments. Personally, they spur me on to achieve more. But I’m interested to see how others deal with negative words?

    Soz for the essay oops

    • Nicole Eddy

      Definitely agree that it negative comments make me determined to prove everyone wrong and leave them in the dust! Not sure why anyone would give you stick about photography, if anything it deserves respect. Hopefully they will be begging you to take their wedding photos one day 😉 x

  • Niamh

    Recently in one of my study of ethics lectures we were given an example situation where two people were split to be either a ‘just’ person or an ‘unjust’ person. In this, where the two people aren’t affected by factors outside of their just and unjust personalities, these people would do either just or unjust actions merely for the sake of fulfilling what they were perceived as being – just or unjust. Now if we add consequences/rewards to these actions, these people would be inclined to act a certain way. For example, if the ‘just’ person would receive no reward for a good action, and the ‘unjust’ person would receive a penalty or consequence for their bad action, it becomes less likely that they would carry out the action in the first place. I believe that this is relative to how people now act in terms of online commenting and opinion sharing – the consequence of the unjust action is taken away. People assume that because there is no real ‘identity’ to their online personalities and profiles that they will merely get away with acting in an unjust and often cruel manner. Because, if we can get away with being horrible, why not be horrible? It’s a really interesting topic and an important one too, as it seems unlikely someone would walk up to you in the street and say ‘you seem really boring/bland/ugly/etc’, despite whether they could hide their identities or not.

  • Nicole

    This is so well written. I agree with you every single word, such an inspiring post. I think everyone should read this. Keep spreading the happiness I would say 🙂

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Nicole 🙂 P.S. Great name!

  • jesskeepsmiling

    Wow this blog could not be anymore true. I swear some of the things people say on the internet baffle me it’s not right. I feel like people should think before they comment and ask themselves how would they feel if they were in their shoes and saw the nasty comment they were about to post. The internet is a crazy place and everyone relies on the internet for so many things. It’s sad now when you look at a 5 year old today they would rather play on an ipad or even have a phone instead of playing outside. I didn’t even have a phone till my first year in high school. The other thing that sucks is now people don’t really hang out like they used to they are always on their phone instead of talking to the person sitting right across from them. I’ve had it happened to me a few times with my friends. I want to speak up and say something, but feel its better just to keep my mouth shut. Well from seeing you through Ben’s vlogs and of course throughout your blogs you seem like a really nice person and seem really cool. Another great blog like always and can’t wait to read the next one. Remember to always just keep smiling its spreads happiness 🙂

    • Nicole Eddy

      Same here, I had my grandpa’s old green brick of a Nokia, back in the D when the big aerial still existed! Yeah, sometimes it’s better to not say anything as whether it’s good or bad, people will almost always have something to say back to you! Although Ben’s audience is really positive 🙂 x

  • Ciara Singer

    A few people have already said this, but it really is true about people who say hurtful things really just reflecting badly on themselves. Pair this with something I heard a while ago- most commenters on a video, particularly the nasty-ass ones are submitted within the first 10-30 seconds of someone watching the video. Not sure if that’s true, but it makes heaps of sense to me. These people only care about hurting people to make themselves feel better, right? So they’re almost certainly not even watching the video, or they’re just looking at that picture on Instagram. I know it’s hard to remove yourself and your feelings from the equation, but unfortunately you have to just think about those jealous girls or those perverted crude guys, those… Horrid people and just pity them. They don’t deserve anything but that. Here not good enough to get anything else. Cause no one should make you feel lesser than you are. Keep on trucking! 🙂

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Ciara 🙂 Much appreciated! x

  • Kalie Isaacs

    Really really great post. I love YouTube and Instagram and all other forms of social media. But I too don’t like to scroll through the comments of others videos. I find it incredibly disappoint and sad that we feel the need to bring down others. If don’t like someones picture, or vlog then don’t look or watch it. Why say such hurtful things?

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Kalie 🙂

  • Gavin Taylor

    I’m not even joking but I think you are honestly the definition of a perfect girl after having read this and watched many of Ben’s vlogs. I know you say you don’t mind your life being exposed to that many people due to Ben’s vlogs but I can tell you act perhaps a little reserved and shy on camera (or maybe its just me) which I think is sweet. I seriously think you have a brilliant personality and your also beautiful and Ben is a very lucky guy as I stated on one of his vlogs which he replied to (yay!) . But my main point being you really shouldn’t let a few idiots get you down through their negative comments as your blogs and personality that comes off in Ben’s vlogs is absolutely amazing. Your perfect! Smile 🙂

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Gavin, that’s really nice of you! Yeah, for sure, I try and make sure that there is a line between personal and public affairs in my life, being camera shy helps me to not give away too much as well! Thanks you, it wasn’t really about my experiences with negative comments but rather a trend I’ve seen growing everywhere online lately. Have a great week!

  • hope

    Great post Nicole. The people who are the most brazen on the internet are often the ones who are the meekest in real life. Any coward can scoff, ridicule, judge, criticize a stranger from the comfort of their phone or computer. Most of these people would never have the balls to translate this anonymous bravery to any kind of sensical eloquence in the real world. It’s hard not to let these offhand comments bother you, because, after all, you’re putting a piece of yourself out there when you choose to blog or comment in a social media platform. Just remember that the people with the sharpest tongues are often the most scared and insecure inside.

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thank you, yes, it is unfortunately a consequence of allowing my life, or rather a small part of my life, to be exposed to the world and that is a hurdle which I have to learn to deal better with! x

  • I’ve got to say, I love how you write and just how much sense you make 😀 that feels like quite an odd thing to say but hey ho 🙂 hateful comments bug me because of, like how you said, they don’t take into account the fact that there are real people with real emotions behind the screen and that by using horrible language, you can really hurt them and their feelings. Having a conversaion about a person’s strengths in the comments can be really uplifting but when you’re inviting a response for negative reasons, it always makes me question their motives. I honestly hope they understand the implications of what they’re doing though perhaps that’s a bit too much to ask for in some case! reporting and blocking is definitely a great way to be heard without causing arguments.
    Thank you Nicole and I’m sorry for the long paragraph, I do believe I’m a professional rambler 🙂

    • Nicole Eddy

      No worries about the rambling, it makes for good bedtime reading, particularly when it’s all positive. Thanks for reading again, appreciate it 🙂 x

      • You’re very welcome! I hope that you have a wonderful week ahead! 🙂 x

  • Lizzy Williams

    This was a great read, Nicole! I completely agree (and I’m actually planning a post about it as we speak). One thing I always try to remember is, “Hurt people hurt people.” No happy person living a fulfilling life would willingly waste their time on hateful comments. The people who deserve our love and kindness the least are usually the ones who need it the most. Their actions are not on your shoulders; it’s entirely a reflection of who they are, of a gap they’re trying to fill within themselves. And at the end of the day, you will harvest what you plant. They’re only spiting themselves by continuing to invest in negativity. A negative mind will NEVER give you a positive life, so although it doesn’t excuse their behaviour, just know that their destructive behaviour is hurting them the most.

    • Nicole Eddy

      Awesome Lizzy, would love to take a read when it’s finished! You’re right, although at times it’s hard to see it that way, but I really do understand what you are saying. Couldn’t have said it better myself even if I tried! x

  • I totally agree with you Nicole! I just don’t get why people are hating so much online, why would you just state on someone’s picture they’re ugly for example? You don’t do that irl right? Going up to someone on the street you’ve never met before and tell them they’re ugly. I wish that people would just think twice before posting something and realize that words on a computer screen can really hurt. I also honestly just don’t get what people get from it to hate on other people’s pictures, or facebookpages, or youtube accounts, or whatever. Does it make them feel so much better?

    • Nicole Eddy

      I wish that I could give you an answer, but I honestly as am stumped as you are?! Weird man, just weird! Thanks for reading 🙂 x

  • I just wanted to say how much I love this post! Luckily, I have never really had an experience like that but I know it is happening all the time. I agree with everything you said and it has really opened my eyes to the anonymity of the internet and how this can affect people, its a scary thought! Thank you so much for writing this 🙂

    • Nicole Eddy

      Thanks Jenny, yeah its a pretty scary online world out there! Thanks goodness that I’m still a tad technologically challenged, it helps my cause 🙂

  • Ida Annersten

    This was a great post Nicole, I really enjoyed reading it and I agree with you on everything. Keep up fighting them foolish internet trolls!

    • Nicole Eddy

      You got it 😉 x

  • Karen Eddy

    Well written and remember jealousy is an awful thing that makes people really nasty. Always hold your head up high and know who you are. Love you to the stars and back

  • Agata Miłowska

    I’ve read somewhere that how we treat other people is a direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves. Those people writing mean comments are really sad and insecure human beings. I love reading your posts, always on point 😉 Greetings from Poland!

    • Nicole Eddy

      100%, couldn’t be more accurate! Thanks for reading 🙂 x

  • Ance

    Personally, I have always wondered how I would react if I ever found myself in this kind of situation…total strangers saying nasty things about you, without even knowing you…to me, that sounds very cowardly and unfair. I try to understand why would somebody write such wile comments, but I can never find an excuse to justify it. As I understand it- you get in return whatever you put out in the world. If you put out anger, then that’s what you’re going to get in return, that’s what you’re going to see all around you. That’s a sad way to live. But, nevertheless, lots of people do it- use anonymity to bring other people down. If anything, that has made me more positive and encouraging when I write comments- I want to drown out the negative using the positive. And be authentic while I’m at it (I’m not a fan of fake emotions). I know it’s not a solution, but I think it helps 🙂 When I look at the ‘real’ world- I see similarities with the ‘online’ world. There’s so much violence, pain and suffering, but there’s more love, compassion and respect. We cannot fix all the problems, but we do have a choice which side we want to be part of. That’s my vote- the fingerprint I want to leave behind is nothing but respect (if I can’t manage love and compassion, but hopefully I’ll learn to master those as well).

    PS: By the way- you and Ben are just wonderful people 🙂

  • @supersophs90

    Completely agree! I wish people would stop and think, would I say this to this person if they were stood in front of me? If the answer is no then stop typing! What frustrates me the most is when people are sexually inappropriate on comments, it really makes my blood boil. I have been watching an American youtuber Kate (@piddleass) for a long time, and reading some of the disgusting comments she gets from some of her viewers makes me fume and I really have to restrain myself. Why some people think it’s okay to say some things is just beyond me. Anonymity brings out the absolute worst in people 🙁 This was a very good read Nicole, hope it gets people thinking :-))

    • Nicole Eddy

      That gets me as well! Some people just cannot be changed I guess, pretty sad! Thanks for reading 🙂

  • Great post Nicole, Youtube comments make me question wether or not I am made from the same material as some of these monsters that post nasty comments! I report anyone who is down right inappropriate, it’s absolutely not ok. I try to see life from their point of view, most of these people are just so sad and lonely they are desperate for attention and don’t know how to function in the world in a positive way. They hate themselves just as much as they “hate” whoever they’re commenting about. I like to say, “haters need hugs” and sometimes even comment on hateful comments by saying “you sound like you need a hug”.

    • Nicole Eddy

      Haha, haters sure do need hugs. I think a lot of it also comes from the way that an individual is brought up, their environment, parents, discipline etc. Thanks for reading 🙂

  • Em from NY

    enjoyed reading this 🙂

  • james

    I think this just shows how people can be so judgemental from one thing. I don’t see how somebody can say you have a bland personality when they have probbally just seen you in one video especially when a day is 24 hours long and one video is 10 minutes its a tiny amount compared to the day and I don’t see how people can be so judgemental from 10 minutes. But hey ho some people are like that. Anyway I think your brilliant and love seeing you in bens videos so there’s a positive comment for the day 🙂

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